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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?